August 21, 2012
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It’s now more than halfway through August. I can’t believe that it’s been six and a half months since Phil died. It’s not just when you’re enjoying yourself that time flies.
And as for time healing things; the wound is still wide open.
I sometimes wonder if things are ever going to get better – I’m still just functioning, not living. I seem to be quite good at putting on a brave face, but I know it’s not really the answer. You have to do that to get through the day, but at times it’s nearly impossible. I don’t want to have to pretend or force myself to enjoy things, especially when it involves doing things with the family. I want to lose myself in the moment, like I’m supposed to.
This may sound like I’m just wallowing in self-pity, but I hope not. I’m just trying to understand my feelings and emotions, and finding a way of dealing with them.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. Please feel free to comment if you want to. Just one request – be nice to me!